Weekend Spectacular

I'm exhausted from my birthday shenanigans, which included dinner at a tapas restaurant, playing Celebrity at a friend's apartment, going to the Standard Tap till it closed, and passing out on my friend Mike's couch while everyone around me did singalongs and 5am soft pretzel runs (and taking pictures of me passed out). Time for bed!

Narcissism

Well, I went through a week or so of feeling utterly emotionally horrible. I knew working with my attending would get intense, to work so closely with one other person day in, day out, but people can do that and do well. I knew starting second year of residency would be tough, but that wasn't quite it. I know I wish for a romantic relationship of my own, but that wasn't it either. I finally figured it out with the help of one of my fellow residents. I finally figured out it was a deeper issue of how I felt about this superviser.

I think it was my first taste of ever being emotionally enmeshed with someone with a personality disorder, even though I'm not sure he does quite have a personality disorder (but it's definitely beyond normal eccentricity, so maybe it's in a gray zone, or maybe I'm just chicken), and I don't think I got that enmeshed. Anyway, it reminded me of this blog post, from a blog I loved before the writer abruptly stopped writing.

I Feel Good

Man, I've been happy this week. Maybe it's the good weather (sunny, low humidity, scattered clouds). But I think a lot of it is my new rotation: doing psychiatry consults at the VA. It's just me and my attending doing all the work, and he and I totally have this mutual admiration society set up. I get a huge kick out of his love of big words and Latin phrases, I like learning from him, and I think he likes teaching me.

But I think most of all is, I like being so busy! It's interesting work, we see all sorts of patients and all sorts of problems, and the best part is, I don't ever have to put orders in on any of them. I just show up, we make recommendations, and we move on. I like the patients (for the most part). I barely get to sit down during most of the day, until the late afternoon when I hurriedly put in all my notes for the day. I was very drained at first, but now the fast pace makes me exhilarated.

Tomorrow: my first call as a 2nd year resident (though it's with a 3rd year, so it won't feel very different from my intern calls).