Soulless

The beginning of soul-crushing is happening. For the last week, I've just been feeling my fingers slip from the window ledge, one by one. I'm just so tired. I don't feel like going on, or thinking about my patients, or caring.

This is only partly true, and only a small part of me feels this way. Overall, I think I'm still acting the same and the patients are largely getting the same care. But still, I can feel my fatigue growing. It's like I imagine a marathon runner would feel toward the end of the race, where muscle breakdown and damage is occurring.

Only two more days left on medicine.

I'm Alive

That is all.

It is again frigging cold out there.

I'm surviving this month on medicine, for what that's worth. And maybe I am turning into one barely passable labradoodle.

Okay, now that is all.