'Nuff Said

Oh man oh man oh man

The crappy weather of the last couple days has given way to cold and wind (just minus the rain). But what a difference in my mood. I hadn't realized how much the postponement of the Phillies game had simultaneously aggravated and relieved me. Relieved, because it's been stressful to me to have this Series going on, as I've mentioned. But I must've also had a sense of helplessness, of impatience, because I am so happy this game is going on now.

And what just happened??? We scored! And Jayson Werth just stole second! Even though the announcers keep calling him Utley.

In other news, I also watched the 30-minute Obama ad before the game, and I'm pretty satisfied with him as my choice for President.

Ah, Howard just pop-flied out. Oh well. We're up 3-2! I think I need to go down to South Philly to watch the rest of the game with my friends. In the meantime, I'll carry my little radio-Walkman to listen to Harry Kalas call the game. Oh please oh please oh please...

Darkness

So, it's been a crazy week. The Phillies being in the World Series has seriously been messing with my schedule. Ordinarily I'd be going to bed around 9 each night, but since the games start at 8:30, that's obviously impossible. In the meantime, I finished up my medicine month at one hospital and started at another one, and it's been a world of difference. Old Hospital: chaos, disorganization, loneliness, stress. New Hospital: teamwork, organization, peace of mind. Actually, NH has its own frustrations... it's a slow-paced hospital, so if you are not in a rush, then it feels fine and easy, but if you do want to get something done NOW, you pretty much have to do it yourself, and it feels incredibly frustrating to be up against the NH bureaucracy. But so far, my patients have been not too active, so I'm enjoying these few days of vacation (I got to leave at 2:30 and took a 5-hour nap this afternoon).

And can I just say I hate these Simon and Garfunkel commercials for burgers? It's so cheesy, it's almost like I like them, but then I think about it, and, no, I hate them. Grrrr.

World Series

It's a good thing tonight's World Series game is rained out... I desperately need the sleep. In the meantime, enjoy this.

UPDATE: Oh man, now the game is on! There goes my sleep tonight.

O-wee-o, wee-O-oh

I just trudge to work and home from work and my life is not great right now.

GOD

This sucks. It's just as well I have to go to bed in a couple minutes. It's the end of the FIRST and the Phils are down 5-0. Suckitude. Oh well, at least I had a good weekend, full of sunshine and good food and carousing with friends.

Update, continued

So at the commercial break I decided to make a break for it, with my radio at the ready, to listen to the rest of the Phils game. I rode home on the bus shaking my fist at hearing about Manny Ramirez's 3-run home run. Then I watched the rest of the game at home and cheered as we finally won, 8-5. Though of course, Lidge did make me chew my nails in agony at the end.

But enough game talk. It's almost the end of my second week, out of four, on medicine, andI feel like I'm settling in. I know where things are, I have a rough sense of organization, and I'm able to handle ten pretty stable patients. The bad stuff comes when patients are unstable and I don't know what to do. I can always say "Recheck the vitals!" when called about abnormal vital signs, and half the time that works. I'm veeeery slowly getting more tools in my toolbox. That is, I can see a patient with shortness of breath and think about giving them oxygen, albuterol, ipratropium, or maybe a diuretic if I think they're volume-overloaded from heart failure. So, looks like I'm learning something. :) But I still have a very far way to go.

It struck me today as I filled out a discharge summary and marked it "10/11/2008" that 2008 is almost over. What??? How can I be 27 years old? I remember being 8 and reading that a space shuttle would be finished in 1992, and thinking "Well, THAT will NEVER get here." 2008 is my med school class. Holy crap. And I'm almost four months into my residency. It's gone by so fast! And soon I'll be a second year! And then a third year! Gah!

I guess my goal for 2009 is to a) survive and b) thrive. Pretty lame, I know. But honestly, when it comes to my medicine months, it's really just about getting through. It's not as much about shining or being the best I can be. All I want is to know the basics about various medical problems, enough for initial management until more skilled help arrives.

Update on this Month

So life could be worse. Yesterday was fine, and I got out on time. Today I also got out on time, and more than that, I'm in the lounge watching the Phils kick the Dodgers' butts, 8-2. Let's hope LA doesn't rally.

Oy Vey

So that treadmill I talked about in my last post has been ramped up tremendously. I was on call overnight last night and overall, from 7am yesterday to 1pm today was the worst 30 hours of my life. It was hellacious. It was a nightmare. I guess I'll have to get used to it, because I have one more call like that (and actually worse) on this rotation, and then I get that every fourth night throughout November and January.

I seriously never stopped getting paged. And I had no idea how to handle it. I mean, if I knew what to do (...I would not need residency!), the call would be easier, because it would just be about getting the work done. Instead all I can do is say, "Um, I don't know, let me call my senior resident." Oh, it was horrible. I signed out this afternoon, sobbed to my psychiatrist and to my mother, and then slept, and woke up and ate pad thai with my roommate and watched TV. And now for an early bed time.