My Facade Of The Last Week

I had a pretty good weekend, very chill. I hung out with some visiting cousins Saturday, and hung out with the immediate fam as usual on Sunday. It was bittersweet on Sunday, because it was the last Sunday Rog was here, for the summer anyway. He left for LA early this morning.

It was good for me to see so many different family members this weekend. For some reason I've felt more irritable and withdrawn. From people's comments I guess I keep a poised, calm, and relaxed exterior, but a lot of the time I feel a tiny fraction of what I imagine a PTSD victim feels -- hypervigilant, distractible, waiting for something to start. For the past few days I've felt somatic symptoms of anxiety like those I experienced in second year of med school, such as feeling like I could never take a really deep, satisfying breath.

So I think seeing family helped me relax and come out of my shell. And today I worked hard, so I feel better. But still some vague restlessness.