and so it begins

Today was my first day of real work as an intern.

It was in a way an anticlimactic day, but in a way overwhelming, exhausting, and full of firsts. My rotation for the next five and a half weeks is in the psychiatric ER, and when it's slow I help out with the consult service. The morning started out easily, with a welcome from the residents, and a leisurely breakfast in the hospital cafeteria. I sat in on rounds with the consult service, and the attending is really smart and nice. I really can't believe that people are nice to me, given that I know nothing and need a bunch of hand holding. In the course of rounding, we had some interesting discussions.

We got a patient in the early afternoon, and I went in with my senior resident and my attending to interview her. I introduced myself using "doctor" and it felt totally normal. Wearing the long coat felt totally normal. Signing my name to a transfer sheet for the patient, on the line that said "Physician Signature," felt totally normal, although I realize as I write this that I forgot to put "M.D." on the end. In fact, it's only as I write this post and include the picture of myself that it really hits me that I'm a doctor now.

But. I still have to earn that title, really. I know I already earned it somewhat through med school, but still, I have a lot of work ahead of me before that I'll actually believe myself as a doctor. It's a gradual process.