So Much To Say
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I have it on Netflix and have cried several times already. Just the music and even the dancing, it gets to me. Add to that the fact that I've been "on" all day and need a release, and vvvvvp! waterworks. Anyway, I just watched the "A Boy Like That" scene and it struck me that Natalie Wood (Maria) is like Melanie Wilkes in "Gone to the Wind" and Rita Moreno (Anita) is like Scarlett O'Hara. In other words, Natalie Wood was, well, wooden, although beautiful, and Rita Moreno was a whole lot more interesting to watch.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Musical Taste
I went to a concert at the Kimmel Center with my mom tonight. The first half hour was a Mozart concerto (K 488), which was breathtaking, and then after the intemission was Mahler's 4th symphony, which I hated. I thought it was pretty blah.
Anyway, it got out late, so I gotta go to bed. Boo for being back at Einstein and having to get up early again.
Anyway, it got out late, so I gotta go to bed. Boo for being back at Einstein and having to get up early again.
Monday, November 27, 2006
The Raveled Sleeve of Care
I felt pretty crappy the night before last and yesterday. Night before last, I was woken up by a sore throat and heavy congestion, making it difficult to breathe. I had chills yesterday, then fever. I felt the fever break (thanks to Tylenol) last night as I was falling asleep. It's a good thing I called in sick to work last night, because I slept for 13 hours last night. I feel totally back to normal now, and it feels so good. It makes me marvel at the terrible drain people with chronic illness must endure, because it's almost a euphoria to feel healthy again.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh!
I was listening to "Won't Get Fooled Again" earlier as I continued trying to tidy up my room (it's been overrun by my dad's books and boxes). What a great song.
I played Cities and Knights of Catan today with my brothers and sister-in-law. It's a really fun game, I think especially among people who've played several times before and don't really need to re-learn the game each time. It gets to be a drag to explain the rules for half an hour before each game. Even though it took three hours today, we still didn't finish the game (although we got close, I think). Games in my family can devolve into endless discussions and arguments, but today it was just smooth and friendly, thanks in large part to my mom, who watched my nephews and supplied us with a steady stream of snacks (including freshly baked chocolate chip cookies... yum). I love Thanksgiving weekend.
I played Cities and Knights of Catan today with my brothers and sister-in-law. It's a really fun game, I think especially among people who've played several times before and don't really need to re-learn the game each time. It gets to be a drag to explain the rules for half an hour before each game. Even though it took three hours today, we still didn't finish the game (although we got close, I think). Games in my family can devolve into endless discussions and arguments, but today it was just smooth and friendly, thanks in large part to my mom, who watched my nephews and supplied us with a steady stream of snacks (including freshly baked chocolate chip cookies... yum). I love Thanksgiving weekend.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Home
Man, the weather is terrible. True November. Mom made me my favorite tea earlier today, orange spice, and even though it was caffeinated it totally put me to sleep. Something about the rain on the roof and my cat on my lap, and possibly having lugged my backpack and suitcase to the hospital today. My parents' house is a little too cold and draughty (hehe, I just like using such a British word) for comfort, as usual. But I was cuddled up in a big green/gold sweater-coat and I just conked out in an easy chair in my parents' kitchen "sun room."
I've been reading a lot of this column, "Act One" on the Wall Street Journal online (I'd link to it, but it requires paid online access). It's about the financial issues and decisions of twenty-somethings. It just makes me feel like I'm so financially lazy. I really should keep a closer eye on my expenses. Not that I'm hemorrhaging money at all, it's just that I don't look at what I spend, much at all. But considering the cost of medical school, it sort of seems silly for me to spend a lot of time worrying about the cost of my coffee drinks. On the other hand, I feel like I should identify wasteful habits and correct them now. Like, I should bring my lunch much more often than I have this past month. And instead of buying tea, I should make it at home and bring it in a travel mug. Sigh.
Anyway, I'm happy to be home. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! *hug*
I've been reading a lot of this column, "Act One" on the Wall Street Journal online (I'd link to it, but it requires paid online access). It's about the financial issues and decisions of twenty-somethings. It just makes me feel like I'm so financially lazy. I really should keep a closer eye on my expenses. Not that I'm hemorrhaging money at all, it's just that I don't look at what I spend, much at all. But considering the cost of medical school, it sort of seems silly for me to spend a lot of time worrying about the cost of my coffee drinks. On the other hand, I feel like I should identify wasteful habits and correct them now. Like, I should bring my lunch much more often than I have this past month. And instead of buying tea, I should make it at home and bring it in a travel mug. Sigh.
Anyway, I'm happy to be home. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! *hug*
Monday, November 20, 2006
The Winds Of Change
It's my last week here at my main University hospital, and I'm sorry to be leaving. Not only is my team great in personal terms, but the schedule is also not as grueling as the one at my first hospital, and it's pretty nice to roll out of bed at 6:30 if I want and walk to work.
Thanksgiving soon! Wooo!
Thanksgiving soon! Wooo!
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Horrorific... Horrific?
Both last night and tonight, I went with my friend Amy to see some movies in this horror fest, "8 Films to Die For." They were excellent horror movies, in a kiddie-rollercoaster kind of way. Exciting enough, but not too scary, and pretty goofy too. Last night's was "Reincarnation," this Japanese movie by the director of the Japanese version of "The Grudge," and tonight's was "Grave Dancers," starring "Courtney" from "Bring It On." (Man, I'm sick of quotes now.)
I had an excellent day, even though nothing exciting happened. It was the first day in twelve days that I got to sleep in late. (Well, besides the one this week where I'd been throwing up all night and called in sick from work.) I felt rested, and I got a lot of work done this morning and afternoon, with some time included to run errands and go for a nice long walk around the city.
Well, time is flying. I've got call tomorrow, and am leaving the hospital early (after six hours) to take the train out to my parents' house, and greet my parents as they come back from London. Then three days of work, then Thanksgiving!
I had an excellent day, even though nothing exciting happened. It was the first day in twelve days that I got to sleep in late. (Well, besides the one this week where I'd been throwing up all night and called in sick from work.) I felt rested, and I got a lot of work done this morning and afternoon, with some time included to run errands and go for a nice long walk around the city.
Well, time is flying. I've got call tomorrow, and am leaving the hospital early (after six hours) to take the train out to my parents' house, and greet my parents as they come back from London. Then three days of work, then Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Gripe Time
We have this stupid case challenge to do for Tuesday, but really we have to be done by tomorrow, and I haven't done much work at all for it, what with my crazy week. I can only hope the team forgives me. Maybe I can put in some more work tomorrow on it. But in the state I've been in, I don't really care if our team is dishonored in the final competition. And the worst part is, my attending is like the overseer for the whole competition. In general, he loves to pimp (although not maliciously), and he asks hard questions, and I already feel stupid enough in morning rounds every morning without having him see I've put no work into his pet project. Waaambulance.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
What a Day
I'm recovering from my illness and am pretty weak and tired to begin with. Went to work and was totally useless. My older brother Matt called with the news that the family thought my grandmother was dying. I told my resident, and god bless him, he saw how upset I was and told me to go home, even saying, "I'd be disappointed in you if you stayed." And he gave me a hug.
Went down to see my grandmother. She looks peaceful, and she's surrounded by family. It was an emotional but good time. In a way I feel worse for my mom, who's in London and can't come back till Sunday. I think she's taking this separation very hard.
In other news, I found out this evening that my brother Rog is going to be a patient on "House," which is such a great achievement. I'm excited for him and very proud.
So, it's been a rollercoaster of a day, very draining. Sorry if this post is sort of disjointed -- I still feel kind of sick and tired. I know I buried the real emotional stuff in a short paragraph in the middle of this post, but I can't go into it more than I did, at least now. Time for bed.
Went down to see my grandmother. She looks peaceful, and she's surrounded by family. It was an emotional but good time. In a way I feel worse for my mom, who's in London and can't come back till Sunday. I think she's taking this separation very hard.
In other news, I found out this evening that my brother Rog is going to be a patient on "House," which is such a great achievement. I'm excited for him and very proud.
So, it's been a rollercoaster of a day, very draining. Sorry if this post is sort of disjointed -- I still feel kind of sick and tired. I know I buried the real emotional stuff in a short paragraph in the middle of this post, but I can't go into it more than I did, at least now. Time for bed.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Sicko
Yesterday at work I was feeling a little sick, but like, cold sick. I could still work with the sniffles.
But last night, after half an hour of studying, I started to get the ol' abdominal pain and nausea. I lay down and fell asleep, hoping I could sleep the pain away. Nope. I was up all night, making frequent trips to the bathroom, moaning in pain and generally hating my life. I kept checking the clock every time I dragged myself out of bed, hoping that more than half an hour had passed since I last woke up (it never had). I called my intern when it started and she told me to take today off, which I did. (I later found out that she got the same bug a few hours after I did and also took today off. Good thing today was supposed to be a light-day workwise, as our team is pre-call.)
Anyway, it made me think about pain and nurturing. It touched on two areas of my life that have been on my mind lately. The first and most obvious is working at the hospital. It made me realize how businesslike I am as I ask my patients "Are you in any pain?" each morning and what a terrible life-altering experience it is to be in pain, even the relatively mild and short-lived pain that I had last night. In the future I'll try to remember that pain and empathize with it in my patients. The second area it made me think about is relationships, and how important it is to have nurturers in one's life. How I wished that I had a boyfriend to call who would come over and bring me things and in general smooth my brow and say "there, there." Instead I emailed my mom, who's in London now, and even her emailed "Poor baby" helped. I dunno, I've gained this constant low-grade worry that the more confident and badass I get at work, the less warm and spontaneous I get as a person in general, and certainly the less soft and feminine I get.
So basically, I'm a total Amazon who will never find love. No nurturing for me! Hehe. I don't really believe it, but the worry makes me resolve to be more loving and giving in my personal life, with my friends and family. To be more spontaneous and surprised by life, and to let it show. It's a tough line to walk, this whole efficient smart professional lots-of-responsibility career vs. not-a-huge-bitch personal life goal. But I think it's worth trying.
But last night, after half an hour of studying, I started to get the ol' abdominal pain and nausea. I lay down and fell asleep, hoping I could sleep the pain away. Nope. I was up all night, making frequent trips to the bathroom, moaning in pain and generally hating my life. I kept checking the clock every time I dragged myself out of bed, hoping that more than half an hour had passed since I last woke up (it never had). I called my intern when it started and she told me to take today off, which I did. (I later found out that she got the same bug a few hours after I did and also took today off. Good thing today was supposed to be a light-day workwise, as our team is pre-call.)
Anyway, it made me think about pain and nurturing. It touched on two areas of my life that have been on my mind lately. The first and most obvious is working at the hospital. It made me realize how businesslike I am as I ask my patients "Are you in any pain?" each morning and what a terrible life-altering experience it is to be in pain, even the relatively mild and short-lived pain that I had last night. In the future I'll try to remember that pain and empathize with it in my patients. The second area it made me think about is relationships, and how important it is to have nurturers in one's life. How I wished that I had a boyfriend to call who would come over and bring me things and in general smooth my brow and say "there, there." Instead I emailed my mom, who's in London now, and even her emailed "Poor baby" helped. I dunno, I've gained this constant low-grade worry that the more confident and badass I get at work, the less warm and spontaneous I get as a person in general, and certainly the less soft and feminine I get.
So basically, I'm a total Amazon who will never find love. No nurturing for me! Hehe. I don't really believe it, but the worry makes me resolve to be more loving and giving in my personal life, with my friends and family. To be more spontaneous and surprised by life, and to let it show. It's a tough line to walk, this whole efficient smart professional lots-of-responsibility career vs. not-a-huge-bitch personal life goal. But I think it's worth trying.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Food Baby
I'm pregnant right now, with a giant bolus of potato chips, shortbread cookies, strawberries, bananas, and glazed doughnut holes that were all dipped in chocolate fondue at Jaime's apartment tonight. We haven't brought out the fondue fountain for months.
This weekend was my tarnished weekend (my alternative name for "golden weekend," in which you take Thursday night call and get the entire weekend off) -- I was on call all day yesterday, Saturday, and then had to come in for some hours this morning to check on my patients and write notes, and of course sit around for a couple hours waiting to be dismissed, so you only get a half-day off in the entire weekend. Naturally, my day in the hospital was a golden warm gorgeous day, and my half-day off is a rainy humid darkly overcast day. Ah well, I guess it was Nature's signal to force me to take an hour's nap in the afternoon. Mmmmm.
This weekend was my tarnished weekend (my alternative name for "golden weekend," in which you take Thursday night call and get the entire weekend off) -- I was on call all day yesterday, Saturday, and then had to come in for some hours this morning to check on my patients and write notes, and of course sit around for a couple hours waiting to be dismissed, so you only get a half-day off in the entire weekend. Naturally, my day in the hospital was a golden warm gorgeous day, and my half-day off is a rainy humid darkly overcast day. Ah well, I guess it was Nature's signal to force me to take an hour's nap in the afternoon. Mmmmm.
Friday, November 10, 2006
This Whole Med School Thing
I'm thinking about how to learn to be a doctor, and specifically how to get through this rotation (Internal Medicine). I think the most important skill I'm learning is how to generate a differential diagnosis, which means, given a certain patient presentation (e.g. chest pain, shortness of breath, and fever), making a list of possible causes.
I need to do more of this. It's crucial to being a doctor, possibly the most important skill we need to learn. But what I do for most of each day is other (also important) stuff, like talking to the patients, examining them and noticing any changes in their condition, looking up the results of labs drawn and any procedures or imaging, and having small teaching sessions with the residents in which we teach them or they teach us about specific diseases or tests. Or sitting in lectures, tracking down old records from other hospitals, calling in consults... the list goes on and on. I dunno, it's just easy to never feel like I know enough.
I need to do more of this. It's crucial to being a doctor, possibly the most important skill we need to learn. But what I do for most of each day is other (also important) stuff, like talking to the patients, examining them and noticing any changes in their condition, looking up the results of labs drawn and any procedures or imaging, and having small teaching sessions with the residents in which we teach them or they teach us about specific diseases or tests. Or sitting in lectures, tracking down old records from other hospitals, calling in consults... the list goes on and on. I dunno, it's just easy to never feel like I know enough.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Jesus, I Hate Buying Computers
My computer died about a month ago. I got memorabilia extracted off the hard drive and have been using Dad's laptop since. I've been meaning to buy an IBM Thinkpad like Seth had, because he had a sweet machine, superfast and nice screen resolution etc. Today Dad emailed me this deal on the very computer I want but when I go to buy it, I can't be sure I'm like checking every box right... I mean I think the deal is that I can get an upgrade on these features, but when I go to the sales page, I can't be sure that I'm actually getting the upgrade.... Gah! pantpantpantpant... Gah!
I think I'll just chicken out again and ask my dad to go through the work of buying the damn thing. I'm such a wuss.
I think I'll just chicken out again and ask my dad to go through the work of buying the damn thing. I'm such a wuss.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Happily Boring
Actually, part of my day wasn't boring, it was hilarious. But it involves a patient, so I'm not going to post it here. Call me or IM me or something if you want the story.
Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm incredibly content.
Anyway, just wanted to say that I'm incredibly content.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Fee Times A Mady
My first Netflix DVD is SNL: The Best of Eddie Murphy. Teehee.
I got off call blessedly early today (I was going braindead, for real) and got to have dinner with my parents and go see "Crime and Punishment" at the Arden Theater with them. w00t! And still home in time for bed. I'm pretty happy these days.
I got off call blessedly early today (I was going braindead, for real) and got to have dinner with my parents and go see "Crime and Punishment" at the Arden Theater with them. w00t! And still home in time for bed. I'm pretty happy these days.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Free Timin'
I had post-call this morning, but only for a few hours. For the rest of the day, I had some studying I had to finish, but otherwise had plenty of time. Diane invited me to study with her at my local hipster coffee shop, and then we went to lunch, and came home to study some more. And it was fun, because it was like, I was getting the stuff done on my to-do list, but I had company. And I got all my work done in time to loll on the couch in the living room for four hours watching "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," talk on the phone with a couple people, and sign up for Netflix. In an overly scheduled life, one of the greatest pleasures is to have a great stretch of free time in front of you. Mmmmmmm. :) It's a nerd's life.
Friday, November 03, 2006
I Love Caffeine, and Other Thoughts
Coffee and tea make such a huge difference in my day. But to make sure they continue to make a huge difference, I try not to have them routinely. I have coffee once or twice a week, and tea two or three times a week. I don't know, it's just funny how obviously caffeine is a drug. Its effects are practically instantaneous and it makes you feel incredibly focused and energetic, and all of a sudden it's like you're a different person. So I try to limit my consumption of it.
This morning I got up and out of the house early enough to buy a bagel and cream cheese and some tea with cream and sugar (I could never go on the Atkins diet, let's face it). It was such a pleasure to sit in the hospital cafeteria, cleverly called the Atrium, and read a magazine and sip my tea. I felt so civilized afterward.
Anyway, the rest of the day was intense. We worked practically nonstop, and the few bits of downtime were filled with venting hilarity. The team bonded over our love of Ali G and Borat, and I earned a hug and big laugh from my intern by taking a dare and running like Borat down the hospital hallway.
Man, I haven't worked out in a while. Amy and I went to a Bare Naked Ladies concert last night (which rocked the house) and then tonight I had call. Flabby McFlab.
This morning I got up and out of the house early enough to buy a bagel and cream cheese and some tea with cream and sugar (I could never go on the Atkins diet, let's face it). It was such a pleasure to sit in the hospital cafeteria, cleverly called the Atrium, and read a magazine and sip my tea. I felt so civilized afterward.
Anyway, the rest of the day was intense. We worked practically nonstop, and the few bits of downtime were filled with venting hilarity. The team bonded over our love of Ali G and Borat, and I earned a hug and big laugh from my intern by taking a dare and running like Borat down the hospital hallway.
Man, I haven't worked out in a while. Amy and I went to a Bare Naked Ladies concert last night (which rocked the house) and then tonight I had call. Flabby McFlab.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Cheers and Jeers
Cheers to "Lost in Translation," which I didn't think I felt like watching, but took off the shelf because I've run through my limited DVD collection. (I need to order Netflix, pronto.) And I love it. I wonder if any movie delights in depicting boredom the way this one does. Hehe lip my stocking!
Speaking of DVDs, I'd like DVDs aplenty for Christmas. I 'd like the second season of The West Wing or Scrubs, any seasons beside 2 and 3 of the Simpsons... and as far as movies go, I want "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and "The Shawshank Redemption" and "Singin' in the Rain" and maybe some classics like "The Godfather" (parts 1 and 2). It's amazing what not having TV does...I always used to basically ignore my DVD collection, but now I delight in it. Also on my Christmas wishlist: flannel sheets and a nice down comforter, but I think Mom's handling that.
Well, anyway. Jeers to that frigging Travelocity gnome. HATE HIM. (punt)
Speaking of DVDs, I'd like DVDs aplenty for Christmas. I 'd like the second season of The West Wing or Scrubs, any seasons beside 2 and 3 of the Simpsons... and as far as movies go, I want "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" and "The Shawshank Redemption" and "Singin' in the Rain" and maybe some classics like "The Godfather" (parts 1 and 2). It's amazing what not having TV does...I always used to basically ignore my DVD collection, but now I delight in it. Also on my Christmas wishlist: flannel sheets and a nice down comforter, but I think Mom's handling that.
Well, anyway. Jeers to that frigging Travelocity gnome. HATE HIM. (punt)